Mum's hilarious letter to her kids about summer holidays goes viral

Yelling: MBlazoned loves to yell at her kids. Seriously. © MBlazoned / Facebook
Yelling: MBlazoned loves to yell at her kids. Seriously. © MBlazoned / Facebook

Blogger M.Blazoned has penned an open letter to her kids that has struck a chord with parents (especially mothers) around the world.

The letter published in full on her site mblazoned.com has been shared around the world as parents start the summer holidays.

Hey Kids,

Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half-finished smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I’m on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep ‘em coming. Legos? Everywhere? Love it. Oh, and feel free to drag your blankets all over the house and abandon them the moment you no longer want them. I’ll fold them lovingly for you and return them to your rooms.

And doors? Shutting them is optional. I’m right behind you, so, seriously, don’t worry about it. I love when the wasps get in and the air conditioning gets out. Who are we to be sequestered in our climate-controlled house? Open door policy in this house. We have endless money.

And let me know when you are hungry. Don’t be encumbered by normal meal times. And please don’t coordinate with each other. The kitchen is open 24/7, and I’m happy to whip up anything you need, whenever you need it. I majored in short-order cooking.

And every time you are thirsty... get a new glass. We have tons. And a dishwasher I love to load and unload. Not to mention, as far as I know, endless electricity and water. The world is our oyster.

Just a few last-minute housekeeping items: Eye rolling? Yes! I love the immediate feedback on my thoughts and ideas. How else can I gauge if I’m pleasing you or not? Showering? Optional. You know what’s best. I defer to you. Wearing a hat? No way. The more sun the better. Chores? Just tell me when it’s a good time for you. The weeds and messes aren’t going anywhere.

One last thing... please always wear your headphones so that you can’t hear me when I’m talking to you. Communication is totally overrated. Little-known fact about me: I love yelling things at the top of my lungs three or four times with no response. It’s very cathartic. Look it up.

Well, call me crazy, but if you guys follow all of these guidelines, I think this summer is going to be a win for all of us.

Or, if you don’t understand sarcasm, you won’t make it until July. Either way...

Love you guys.

- The Default Parent

Follow M. Blazoned on Facebook.

Read the full letter and other entries on www.mblazoned.com.

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